suburban mayhem: tanning beds freak me out
suburban mayhem: people are all naked and on them
suburban mayhem: and gross
blacsunrise: yeah...but Im sure someone has a spray bottle and wipes off the ass marks
blacsunrise: at least thats what i tell myself to be able to sleep at night
-----
suburban mayhem: thank god for the ass wipers
blacsunrise: yeah...without them....where would we be.....Im just glad they have one at copymax cause that xerox machine gets a lot of butts
suburban mayhem: oh yeah...I erm...don't understand why people would ever do that kind of thing. I know I would never would...or, um..something. Hahaha
blacsunrise: yeah yeah suuuure I know your home made xmas cards will have your latest foray into the world of ass-copies on the front...
suburban mayhem: yeah it was pretty sexy wasn't it?
blacsunrise: I know my night....I mean day was better becuase of it...
suburban mayhem: hahaha
suburban mayhem: by the way we are engaged again
suburban mayhem: we are just like ben and jen
suburban mayhem: only lesbians
suburban mayhem: and poor
blacsunrise: yay!
suburban mayhem: and on diaryland
suburban mayhem: so yeah good simile me!
blacsunrise: ha ha....you can have the ass and Ill take the kevin smith movies
suburban mayhem: no way
suburban mayhem: I want the kevin smith movies
blacsunrise: allright allright you can have jay and silent bob strike back
suburban mayhem: I challenge you to a game of fooseball
suburban mayhem: fooseball ...to the death!
-------
suburban mayhem: I love jews like whoa
blacsunrise: as far as jews go....jesus was prime
-----
suburban mayhem: you think impure thoughts about richard simmons
blacsunrise: mostly I think about all the fat women and their wonderful successes....but yeah simmons gives me a "bone"
----
blacsunrise: Im sure they'll have him playing some weird english on-top-of-a-horse sport
(on Air Bud)
----------
(New AirBud Screenplay?)
suburban mayhem: damn
suburban mayhem: we should write movies
blacsunrise: oh yeah....I think so....I also think they should turn it into a sopa opera where he has an illicit affair with a cat and they have a half dog half cat kid who he never sees and accidentally marries 20 years later....
blacsunrise: or is that overkill?
suburban mayhem: nah...I mean ....Spiceworld became a movie right?
blacsunrise: ahh very very true....too bad there were no illicit affairs in that one...would have made it worth watching....or at least a little sporty on scary action...cause you know sporty is battin for the pink team
------
suburban mayhem: I'm thinking of converting to mormanism
blacsunrise: allright!
suburban mayhem: so I can have a ton of marriages
suburban mayhem: with lots of hot sexy mofos
blacsunrise: cool and we can all be a shoefull of kool-aid away from a cult!
suburban mayhem: lets go all the way...but, you know, with out the mass suicide
suburban mayhem: and purple shoes
suburban mayhem: or something
suburban mayhem: I forget how that story went
blacsunrise: aww no purple shoes?
suburban mayhem: aliens
suburban mayhem: hahahaha
blacsunrise: will there be a comet?
suburban mayhem: always!
suburban mayhem: and a secret language
blacsunrise: yeah and wonderful handshakes and we can try telepathy and laugh at eachother when we fail...
blacsunrise: ha ha shouldnt there be a horse? or is that a different cult?
------
suburban mayhem: nascar...
suburban mayhem: man thats more like ...nasgay
suburban mayhem: hahaha
suburban mayhem: that was a good one
suburban mayhem: I make my self laugh sometimes
blacsunrise: yup yup....you;re so clever
---------
blacsunrise: corruption....cookies.....dead bodies....fresh cut grass....all the same!
---------
suburban mayhem: I think I will do a weekly beg for IM's
suburban mayhem: it will get pathetic and sad
blacsunrise: you should dood....i never even thought about that...good way to make sick twisted new lovers....I mean friends
------
suburban mayhem: Hanson 4-eva
blacsunrise: aww dood.....they rocked with their girliness and wonder....theres a shirt that says "I fucked the girl in Hanson" when Im at least half as poor as I am now Ima buy it
suburban mayhem: hahahhahahahaha
blacsunrise: great huh?
suburban mayhem: superb!
blacsunrise: yeah....and the great thing about hanson is theres THREE count em THREE lovely ladies to choose from!
suburban mayhem: hott
suburban mayhem: she can marry us too
blacsunrise: uh huh....and we'll all live happily ever after in an underground bunker with all 40 of our communal children mining coal and making us money in Utah
suburban mayhem: and you forgot the part where we film porn in the basement
blacsunrise: oh shit how could I leave that out....yeah and we will have trained monkeys to hold the camera so we can ALL get in on the action
suburban mayhem: hell yes...but it will all end in a tragic jackass stunt imitation
suburban mayhem: where I will loose a testicle
suburban mayhem: or erm, what?
suburban mayhem: I mean...
blacsunrise: noooo! not the testicles
blacsunrise: then there will be a 40 day period of mourning
suburban mayhem: and there will be an ABC special called 'Remembering the left nut' where my t.v. family will talk about how great I am
suburban mayhem: or um...the testicle
blacsunrise: yes yes and dont forget the monkeys....then they will segue into our illegal coal mining op and we will have to recruit on of the hansons to take the heat
suburban mayhem: hahahahaha
suburban mayhem: which one ...they will ask
suburban mayhem: the one who looks like a girl!
suburban mayhem: we'll cry!
blacsunrise: yeah yeah!
blacsunrise: but they will still be confoosed and they will all have to drop their pants and hilarity will ensue
suburban mayhem: and then all of a sudden those kids in south park will start singing about redneck mountain life...and everyone will gasp! and say 'but they are cartoons how did this happen!?!'
blacsunrise: ha ha
suburban mayhem: and out of the shadows air bud will appear and with one last smirk he says 'I CAN DO ANYTHING. FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD' and then he would up your leg
suburban mayhem: hump**
blacsunrise: ha ha....man.....cut scene thats a wrap.....this ones in the can boys...its oscar time!
suburban mayhem: fuck, yeah!
suburban mayhem: you rock so hard
blacsunrise: ha ha well dont forget you'll be on thats stage with me too and then we can go on and on about all the people wee need to thank and when the music comes on we'll tell em to shove it and talk and talk....my goal is to beat paltrow's 16 minutes....
suburban mayhem: and I'll make sure to perfect the part in my speech where I say this is a giant step for black actors
suburban mayhem: ::holds up fist:: black power
blacsunrise: ha ha yeah....how it opend so many doors....TEAR....tear....and thanks to Dorothy Dandrige
suburban mayhem: then in one hurried second, I'll admit that Richard Simmons is the best sex I ever had!
suburban mayhem: no scratch that
suburban mayhem: Roseanne
blacsunrise: I can see their faces now
suburban mayhem: now thats shocking inavative t.v.
----------
suburban mayhem: We are like Britney and madonna's psuedo lesbian kiss...except twisted
blacsunrise: and more enjoyable...that kiss left me cold....
suburban mayhem: people don't know how to be fake lesbians anymore
blacsunrise: yeah its sad really
suburban mayhem: ...god the terrorist really have won
suburban mayhem: thats why we need to save the porn industry
blacsunrise: preach it ssistah!
blacsunrise: I wave my gay pride half mast everyday in honor of all the convincing fake lessies of back in the day
suburban mayhem: hahahaha
blacsunrise: its a dead art really...
suburban mayhem: yeah ...like
blacsunrise: should get and exhibit in the smithsonian
suburban mayhem: making balloon animals
suburban mayhem: no one is good at that anymore
blacsunrise: nope
suburban mayhem: quit exploiting the art of balloon animals is the message I preach to the world every single day
blacsunrise: yeah yeah...I mean...they are already on the endangerd list...what more harrasement can they take!
suburban mayhem: I say we become missionaries or something of that sort and we'll try to explain our statement of good will
suburban mayhem: and then when they tell us to stop loitering in front of their house...we'll drug them and take them back to utah
blacsunrise: yes!!!!
blacsunrise: I knew that home-science kit would come in handy....thanks you gramma
----------------
suburban mayhem: bye...Lauren?
blacsunrise: yup....night...stef
suburban mayhem: Yes! stealing grandma's memory pills works
blacsunrise: ha ha woo...next, grandpas viagra!
-------------------------
And then Kayla
suburban mayhem: don't be so humble...you're hot and humourous piece of ass
HockiJunki: you are great
suburban mayhem: I'm no longer marrying you
suburban mayhem: lol
HockiJunki: lol fine stefanie. you're so out of the kinky lesbian quadrilateral that emily and i are a part of
HockiJunki: we could have made it a pentagon but no! you had to go and break my heart
suburban mayhem: I'll still come to you when I'm vunerable and horny
suburban mayhem: deal?
------------
HockiJunki: please come here and stalk me at work..it would my work day interesting, plus you could see that contrary to popular belief we no longer ride on covered wagons. well the huds to but they don't count cuz they're just like the amish, only they use electricity.
HockiJunki: lol that's great
suburban mayhem: amish people...no joke?
HockiJunki: i can't spell it...i dont know how...let me guess. hooterites. something like that.
HockiJunki: but they speak old school german that no one understands...and they come to town like once a month to get a few things
suburban mayhem: hooterites?! you just made me think of hitler in a hooters girl outfit on roller skates eating strudels
HockiJunki: haha
HockiJunki: i'm checking to see how to really spell it
HockiJunki: hutterites
suburban mayhem: god, that totally destroys my image
suburban mayhem: they are hooterites in my heart
home / old entries / profile / notes / spy designs / host